“A woman’s worst nightmare? That’s pretty easy. Novelist Margaret Atwood writes that when she asked a male friend why men feel threatened by women, he answered, “They are afraid women will laugh at them.” When she asked a group of women why they feel threatened by men, they said, “We’re afraid of being killed.””—
This reminds me of a discussion we had in school, and one girl was talking about living in fear of her safety because she is a girl, and this guy chimed in and was all “It’s hard for guys too! I’m so awkward around girls! It’s embarrassing!” Yeah, not the same thing, exactly?
This reminds me of an article about online (heterosexual) dating that I read a while ago. It listed men’s and women’s worst fears about meeting someone from online. The highest ranked fear that men had was that their date would be fat, whereas the highest ranked fear that women had was that their date would turn out to be violent and kill them.
(The content here, the link above, and everything it links out to are extremely triggering. Proceed with caution and take care of yourself.)
By now you’ve probably heard about this, but maybe you haven’t - there’s a thread on Reddit in which people who have raped other people are coming forth and sharing their stories, namely explaining why they did it.
Most of the posts are really disturbing accounts of how “hormones took over” or “I thought she wanted it” or “I knew I wouldn’t get caught” and the usual phrases that get tossed around in spaces where the culture reeks of rape apologism. More disturbing, though, is how so many people are being praised for being “brave enough” to tell their stories and congratulated for backing off and not raping someone when they could have. Then again, this isn’t terribly surprising, as Reddit isn’t exactly the most pro-woman site in the world.
The link I’ve posted above is Jezebel’s take on the issue. You may have read other responses to the posts online and you may certainly have your own opinions that don’t align with anything you’ve read before. Either way, I’m sure we can all agree that it’s pretty disturbing to read some of the things that have been posted.
What do we do with this? How do we use this outpouring of confessions to further the conversation on rape culture? How can we learn from this? There’s so much to process here, and I really want to hear your thoughts. What do we do now?
I try so hard to make an effort with the people I care about, the people I want to care about, and the people I shouldn’t care about and get nothing in return. I know people are selfish, that’s just how it is, every man for himself. But it gets to the point where I wish someone would try as hard with me as I do with everyone else instead of them just getting bored and leaving. rant over.
I love it when people are affectionate with me. I like when they always invite me places, or text me, or call me, I wouldn’t even mind if they blew up my fb wall with hearts and what not. I would rather have that person than someone who makes me text them first all the time and replies back like 10 hours later.